Divorce can be especially challenging for children as they grapple with the changes and uncertainties brought about by the separation of their parents. Understanding the signs of stress in children across various age groups can help parents provide the necessary support and guidance. Here are some indicators to look out for:
Preschool-Aged Children (3-5 years old):
1. Regressive Behaviour: Preschoolers may revert to behaviours they had outgrown, such as bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or clinginess. This regression can be a way for them to seek comfort and security during a time of upheaval.
2. Separation Anxiety: They might become more anxious or fearful about being away from one or both parents. Separation anxiety can manifest as reluctance to go to school or daycare.
3. Changes in Appetite or Sleep Patterns: Disrupted eating habits or sleep disturbances can be signs of stress. Some children might experience difficulties falling asleep or have frequent nightmares.
School-Aged Children (6-12 years old):
1. Academic Challenges: Children in this age group might face difficulties concentrating at school, leading to a decline in academic performance. They may also exhibit behavioural issues in the classroom.
2. Anger and Irritability: Feelings of frustration, anger, or irritability can surface as children struggle to process their emotions. They might express resentment or act out against parents or peers.
3. Withdrawal or Social Isolation: Some children might withdraw from social interactions or activities they previously enjoyed. They may feel embarrassed or hesitant to talk about their family situation.
Adolescents (13-18 years old):
1. Mood Swings and Emotional Instability: Teenagers might display mood swings, experiencing highs and lows as they navigate the complexities of their parents' divorce. They may become more rebellious or distant.
2. Risky Behaviour: Adolescents dealing with the stress of divorce might engage in risky behaviours such as substance abuse, reckless driving, or defiance of rules and authority.
3. Emotional Distress: They may grapple with feelings of depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem. It's essential to watch for signs of self-harm or thoughts of self-harm.
How Mediation Helps Mitigate Stress:
By recognizing these signs of stress in children, parents can take proactive steps to mitigate their impact. Engaging in mediation allows parents to create a more supportive environment for their children during this challenging time. It facilitates healthier communication, reduces conflict, and enables parents to focus on the needs of their children.
Mediation empowers parents to collaborate in making decisions that prioritize their children's well-being. By fostering a more amicable post-divorce relationship, parents can provide the stability and support that children need to navigate this transition more smoothly.
Children’s voices are often ignored or silenced in the process of divorce, leaving them feeling powerless and unheard. The Voice of the Child interviews offers an opportunity to listen, understand and include the child’s feelings, hopes and perspective in the decision-making process, during mediation. I invite you to watch a brief but impactful video, written by Monica Epperson, founder of The Child of Divorce, where you will hear what is often not said.
Divorce is undoubtedly a difficult journey, but with the right approach, support, and a focus on the well-being of your children, it can pave the way for a brighter future.
Wishing you strength and resilience,
Elize Ash
Comments